


Christmas in the Bunker

by millady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amulet, Angst, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Season/Series 11 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8577754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millady/pseuds/millady
Summary: Dean wants to celebrate Christmas but Sam doesn't.  This was written early in Season 11 when Sam was still having visions and Dean didn't believe in God.





	

Sam sits at the library table, twirling his pen, reads a lore book. Dean enters, "So I thought we should have Christmas this year."

Sam ignores his brother. 

Dean frowns continue on, "We'll get a tree and have a big meal. Invite Cas and --"

Sam looks up, "Who? There's no one else to invite unless you want Crowley. I'll pass."

"Sure, I suppose, but hey, remember the last time we celebrated."

Sam slammed the thick tome closed. "You mean the time before you went to Hell, yeah I remember. Look you want to celebrate I can't stop you, but while you're drinking egg nog, the Darkness is out there sucking people souls out."

"She's doing it while we sit here and read dusty old books." 

Sam pushes back, "I'll be in my room, reading." He grabs his book, starts to leave, but Dean blocks him. 

"Sammy, I just think we should take a break. You aren't sleeping, and….let's just take a break. A day or two won't make a difference."

"Dean, we let Amora free, we have to stop her."

"And we will, but Sam. Let's just take a couple days man. You're exhausted, I am too. It's been a rough couple weeks for us. I know you're not sleeping."

"I'm sleeping."

"Really, how much sleep have you gotten? I know these visions are keeping you awake."

"The only way you would know that is if you were in the same room as me….my god, you're watching me sleep." Sam gives Dean a bitchface look.

"No, but I know you."

"No, you don't."

"I know you don't like Christmas," Dean says. 

"So now after all these years you think I would? Let's count the holiday hits," Sam puts the book down. Using his fingers, he starts to tick off Christmas' Past. "First, you came back from hell, and you were too traumatized, and then I was a complete dick hopped up on demon blood, then the year after that I was in hell, and then I was soulless and could care less about you or the holidays. Then should we forget the I had freaking Satan singing Christmas Carols all the live long day --"

Dean puts his hands up, "Okay I get it. We have had some pretty shitty years lately, but we took care of the Leviathans, and don't forget, we learned how to gank a hellhound, and we --"

"You really going with that? Bobby got killed, and you became a demon and died, and oh yeah, Charlie is dead because of me. I do not want to celebrate Christmas, I don't even….ya know what..call Cas, start a new tradition but leave me out of it." Sam storms off. 

"You forgot your book," Dean yells out. 

Sam turns, comes back, snags the book, gives Dean the stink eye and leaves. Dean rubs his face and looks around. "Damn it." 

Later, Dean meets up with Cas at a Diner and lays out his plan for the holidays. 

"But you said Sam doesn't want to celebrate," Cas looks confused. 

"He will, he's just stubborn. I was wondering if you wanted to join us, being you're family and all."

"Well…" Cas blushes. "I appreciate that. Yes, I will help you with getting Sam into the spirit."

Dean snorts, "I don't know if it will work, but it will be fun trying."

Sam flips through news sites, looking for murders and things that could indicate where Amora is. How to kill her or put her back in prison still remains a mystery. His visions keep pointing him to the cage, he can't believe God would want him to do that. But maybe that's the point, that he has to go through some sort of trial, through his heart of darkness and for him is the cage. He sighs and closes his eyes a moment to rest to calm his mind. 

BANG! Sam jumps and hears Dean talking. He slowly gets up and goes to the Map Room. Dean and Cas lug a huge, lush evergreen tree down the stairs. 

"Dean, what is this?" Sam shouts.

"It's a tree," Cas answers. 

"I see that. A Christmas tree, really?"

"Yes really, I told you we're going to take a couple days off and do up Christmas right. Cas here is going to be with us, it'll be a real family get together." 

Sam frowns, shakes his head and leaves. 

Cas looks at Dean,, and says, "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Naw. He'll get over it. Let's set this up in the Library," Dean orders. 

Later, Sam comes back to the library to grab his laptop. Christmas music plays as Dean and Cas decorate the tree.

Sam snorts, "Where did you get those decorations?"

"From the store," Dean says. 

"You wanna help, it's actually kinda fun. This is the first time I ever decorated a tree," Cas smiles. 

Sam shakes his head, "No. Just came to get my laptop. I think I found a way to track Amora, just need to see if I can set up a program to track murders and then separate them from ordinary ones to ones committed by soulless people."

Dean hangs an ornament, "That's great, but why don't you help? You can reach the top of the tree. Put the Angel up there," Dean smiles. He picks up a cheap gilded angel. 

"Dean tells me it's a tradition for an angel to sit on top of the tree." Castiel smiles.

"Cas is too big, so here. You can reach." Dean holds it out. 

Sam stares at it for a moment. 

"Come on its just one decoration. Not like I'm asking you to string popcorn. It just a damn tree topper," Dean argues. 

"Meg called me that once, along with Clarence. We should watch that movie, I understand it's a tradition at Christmas," Cas remarks casually. 

"So's a Christmas Story." Dean smiles.

"I do not know that one," Cas says. 

"It's a classic, there's this kid all he wants is a BB gun, but his mother keeps telling him he'll shoot his eye out," Dean laughs. 

"I do not see what's so funny about that," Cas says. 

Dean turns to Sam, "Tell him….oh." 

Sam is gone. Dean sighs. He turns and puts the angel on the tree. It's a little crooked. 

"I don't think Sam is going to go along with your plan." Castiel remarks.

"Yeah I'm getting that," Dean says. 

"It's Christmas Eve. I think your plan has failed," Castiel replies.

Sam sits on his bed, arms on his knees, lost in thought. The door is ajar. Cas watches Sam a moment, then knocks. "I have learned that it's common for people to not be able to sleep on Christmas Eve."

Sam looks up, "You mean kids and Santa?"

Cas nods. "May I?"

"Sure," Sam sits up. Cas sits in the hardwood chair. 

"Dean tells me you do not wish to celebrate Christmas this year. I'm finding it…fun. It has many rituals and traditions. The movies and tv-shows aren't bad. There's this one I like immensely."

Sam looks expectantly, "Which one?"

"The Grinch who Stole Christmas. Dean tells me you are like this Grinch, but you are not green."

Sam sighs. "Well, I think he means I do not like Christmas."

"But The Grinch grew to love it."

"I suppose he did."

"Someone should do a sequel so we can see if he keeps that Christmas spirit."

Sam nods, "Yeah, maybe someone has, who knows."

Cas looks at Sam with concern and confusion. "I also have come to learn through many movies that this is a hard time of year for people. Is it hard for you Sam?"

Sam shakes his head confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure, it's something people say. You seem sad."

Sam sighs. "I'm not sad. I just don't like…this time of year."

"Do you not have any good memories?"

Sam frowns, "No."

"Perhaps we can make some," Cas says. 

Sam stands up and escorts Cas out of his room. "Yeah, well you guys have fun this hear." He pushes Cas out, shuts his door and locks it. 

Cas frowns. Dean leans against a wall. 

"Didn't go well," Dean asks. 

"No."

"Maybe we should just leave him alone." Dean stands, walks away. 

Cas follows. "When you were growing up didn't you guys have any good Christmases?"

"I thought we did, but I guess it was different for Sam," Dean sighs. "I love that kid, you know I do, but he just …I suppose what was ok for me and Dad, was never good enough for him. For years, he thought he was selfish, ya know, but the reality is he just unhappy. Leave him be, we'll do it up right," Dean walks away. 

Cas stands in the hall conflicted. 

Sam goes to the garage and opens the Impala trunk. He pulls out a knife, takes the tip of the blade and slices the carpet. He takes a finger, digs around and pulls out a small pouch. 

"Sam? What are you doing? You going on a hunt?"

Sam jams the pouch into his front pocket. He turns to Dean.

"No, just checking our supplies, I read somewhere that holy water can go stale."

Sam slams the trunk lid closed. 

Dean steps closer, "Really? Stale holy water?" 

"That's what I read. You want to be out there with ineffective holy water, be my guest. I'll go make fresh." Sam storms past Dean. 

Dean frowns and opens the trunk. He curiously notices the torn carpet, reaches in and puts his finger in the hole. He finds nothing.

Sam refuses to go anywhere near the decorations that were put up. Especially the mistletoe. He's not sure if Cas understands there are limits or not. For all he knows, he and Dean are now a thing, and he could care less. He flips through lore books. 

Dean knocks, "So you make new holy water yet?" 

Sam sighs and closes the book he's reading, "Is there something you need?"

"No. So did you happen to notice the tear in the trunk? I fixed it but was wondering how it happened?"

"Ask Crowley you had in there for days, who the hell knows. The car is old."

"Don't talk about Baby that way. Just curious. So you should show me the reference to this water thing."

"It's on the internet, so it's probably false anyway," Sam says. He tries dismissing Dean by opening the book. 

Dean comes in, "Sam. Look I get it, we won't bug you anymore, but you can't just avoid us till January."

"I'm not, actually I think I found a hunt --"

"No. You're not going on a hunt alone. Sam, you need to take a break. You need to have some fun."

"Hunting is fun," Sam replies dryly. 

Dean sighs and sits. "You know, we've had a crappy childhood. We didn't get to have a house or Christmas trees that didn't look like they were more bushes. Stolen decorations."

"Stolen girl presents."

"I swear I didn't know they were chick gifts. I just wanted you to be happy."

"I know," Sam says sadly. 

"I'm sorry I threw your gift away."

Sam sighs and turns back to his book, "Yeah I know you are. Well, I need to get back to work. Great talk."

"I'm making your favorite for dinner tonight, thought we watch some Netflix. Cas is totally hooked on Orange is the new Black. He keeps asking me about women in prison like I know anything about that."

"You know about jail, seemed to recall one job you fit in quite nicely."

"Well, I'll have Cas come get you when it's time for dinner."

"I'm not hungry, don't worry about it."

"I do worry! I'm your brother, and you're not eating enough. I don't care you don't want to celebrate Christmas you can be in here and be a Grinch, but I am not going to watch you get sick because you aren't eating. You will come and eat, or I'll come in here and shove the damn food down you myself." Dean storms out. 

Sam sighs. 

 

Dean made Mac and Cheese and put little hotdogs in it, just like he did when Sam was a kid. "Cas, go get Sam." Dean also prepared a salad for him too. 

Cas goes to get Sam, but Sam suddenly appears in the doorway. 

"Well it's a Christmas miracle, you came without being called." Dean jokes. 

"It's not technically a miracle," Cas replies. 

"He's making a joke," Sam says. 

"Sit, I made your favorites and a salad." Dean sets a bowl down and fills it up. "Eat up."

Sam looks at it and then at Dean. 

"What? You liked it as a kid."

"I'm not 8 anymore, surprised you didn't get me Funyons too."

Dean turns and pulls a bag out a grocery sack, "I was saving it for the movie tonight."

"We're watching something called 'It's a Wonderful Life.'" Cas says. 

Sam picks up the salad bowl and a fork, starts to leave, "Thanks for dinner."

"Sam! Sit down and eat now!" Dean orders. 

"You're not my father."

"No, but I raised you." Dean replies. It was always an unspoken truth, Dad was the authority figure, but Dean was the one that taught him how to tie his shoes, how to shave, how to pick up a girl, and even gave him 'the talk.' Their Dad taught him how to be a hunter. 

The two men stood there in stubborn silence. 

Cas wants to go over there and stop, but he knew this was a brotherly argument. 

Dean mentally stood firm, but he knew Sam could out-stubborn him in every possible way. 

"Sam, please. We'll pick another movie, we haven't seen you in days."

"You have too," Sam replies. He sits and eats the salad. 

"You don't want your mac and cheese," Cas asks. 

"No." 

Dean nods, "S'okay I'll eat it. More for me. Never got enough as a kid." 

Sam threw a stink eye to Dean but said nothing and kept eating. 

"So, there are other movies we can watch. We'll find something else," Cas says. 

"I have more research to do," Sam replies, then looks to Dean for an argument. 

"Sure, as long as you eat. I also got you some of the green smoothies, thought it might put a little color in your cheeks."

"I'm not sick." Sam says. "Thanks."

After dinner, Sam retreats to his room. He sits on the bed and pulls out the pouch, opens it and tips the contents into his hand, and the amulet slid out and rolls it around his hand. He remembers the Christmas he found out what his dad really did, him not coming back to be with them, and the girl presents. It was in his top 10 of best Christmases. 

There's a knock at his door. He slips the pouch and amulet under his pillow. "Yeah?"

Dean opens it. "Look, I wanted to say sorry."

"For what," Sam asks. 

"For what I said, look. Dad loved you, and well he did what he could, but he wasn't there and sometimes….I feel like….well I shouldn't have said that. Dad raised you and well…just wanted to say sorry."

Sam nods, "You know when I was a kid, sometimes it felt like I had two dads. It's okay, I know what you meant. Forget it."

"I think Cas has decided on watching Die Hard. I know it's got Christmas but it's Bruce Willis, and a bad guy and stuff."

Sam nods, "No thanks. I'm fine here."

Dean looks at him, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. You're right." Sam sighs. "I am tired. So I think I'll turn in early tonight."

Dean nods, "Okay well, get some rest then. See you in the morning."

"Yup," Sam nods, smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Dean feels a knot in his chest, "Good night, Sam."

"Night, Jerk." After Dean closes the door, Sam whispers, "Merry Christmas, Dean." 

 

After the movie ended, Dean and Cas decide to turn in. Dean goes about cleaning up and shutting off the lights. He stops and quietly opens Sam's door to check on him. Sam is sound asleep on the bed, a book splayed open on the floor. He quietly walks in and picks up the book before the pages get ruined. He spies something else - the Amulet. His. Fucking. Amulet. Dean slowly picks it up. He's about to put it on when he hears, "Give it back." 

Dean looks and sees's Sam's eyes open at half mast. 

"You saved it."

Sam fully awakens, sits up. He reaches for it, but Dean pulls it back. "Give it back. It's mine."

"No it's mine, you gave it to me."

"But you threw it away!"

"So finders keepers, now." Dean steps back. 

Sam gets out of bed, nostrils flaring, "You didn't want it anymore. Give it back I'm not telling you again." 

"Sam, after all, we've been through…why didn't you give it back?"

"Why would I? You didn't want it, you were just pissed off at me like always." Sam goes to grab it, but Dean gets it out of his reach again. "Knock it off."

"Sam, we need to talk about this. It's been five years. I was stupid, there hasn't been a day I haven't regretted throwing this away."

"Really? I'm pretty sure after Purgatory you were pretty clear on things. I seriously doubt it then."

"But you kept it, how?"

"None of your business, now give it back."

"The trunk! You kept it in the Impala all this time? I've had it all this time. I saw the rip, that's how it happened."

Sam swipes and grabs the necklace, but Dean won't let go. "Give it."

"No. Sam, what is going on here. Why if it's been there all this time….you were going to give it back to me."

Sam let's go. "You're crazy, why would I do that." He stalks away. 

Dean feels wrong. "Okay, well…here I guess it's yours now. Give it to whomever you wish."

Dean puts it on the bed. 

Sam grabs it and tosses it in his trash. "Take the trash out with you when you go."

Dean felt his nose burn. "Sam, let's just talk about this. I know it's been a hard year, you're not feeling well. You're just upset."

"I'm not angry! I'm not blue! I just want to take care of the Darkness is that too much to ask? I want to do it without having to go back to the cage, but that doesn’t seem to be an option --" Sam puts his hand up. "I know we had this conversation, so I won't bother you with it anymore. I know you think I'm stupid to believe that God could possibly talk to someone like me, whatever. You've made that clear too." Sam picks up his trashcan. "I'll take the trash out."

"No. I'll do it." Dean takes the can. "Sam, I just don't want you to get hurt with this God thing."

"What do you care? Since when have you ever cared about my feelings on this? You've mocked me since the day you found out I prayed and I still do! I know God's not there and I know that no angel will ever answer my prayers."

"Except one."

"Oh, right Lucifer. Well, some of us aren't as lucky as you to have a pet Angel all those years." 

"Cas is your friend. That's all in the past. Sam, you gotta let it go. It's eating you up. I’m sorry I mocked your faith. I wish I had faith like you but…I just don't. I'll try to be more respectful."

Sam snorts. "Yeah, sure."

Dean puts the trash down and pulls out the Amulet. "Look, I know I can be a jerk well so can you. So forgive me for caring. I do. I'm trying man, I really am. You saved me and yes the Darkness is on us, but I won't let you go to the cage. Sam, I can't…it killed me when you…"

"Went crazy?"

Dean nods and steps closer to Sam. "Yeah, knowing I couldn't fix it. Watching you fall into the pit killed me too. I stopped you from closing the gates of hell to save you. Yes, I may have manipulated you and let an Angel in and Kevin's death, that's on me. Everything he did, and I know…you can still hate me for that but man. You have to understand, I can't ….I won't lose you. I know how you feel. I do. Sam, please. You have to see that I need you, and you're right I haven't been the one to pay the cost sometimes. But I'm worried about you man. You know what I want for Christmas? I want you to join us, and for one day just forget about the big bad out there and just be brothers. 

"These past few months, we've been brothers again, and it's been great. I see there's a lot of pain still in there, so when you're ready." Dean holds out the Amulet. "Give it to me when you're ready. Okay? " 

Sam takes the Amulet and nods. 

"I'm going to warn you now. Cas wants a traditional big breakfast, so whether you want to ignore the whole it's Christmas thing or not, we're having a big breakfast - Eggs, bacon, the works! I hope you join us."

Sam nods. 

"Get some rest, okay?"

"Yeah."

Dean comes over and hugs his brother, "Merry Christmas, Brother."


End file.
